A Plague on Both Your Houses

Cold. Flu. Stomach bugs.

Happy New Year Peasant Workers!

The Empire has been back at work for 4 DAYS and we are already in crisis. Some maniacal scheme has been set in motion and has taken out 3 of our best already! 4 DAYS INTO THE FREAKING NEW YEAR AND I HAD TO USE A SICK DAY!!!!

This is why I am here today… Dying. Sanitizing. Checking WebMD for deadly illnesses. Looking up bridges I can live under. Imagining walking right up to Dictator Ass-Hat and announcing, “LOOK HERE! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS ANY LONGER! NO AMOUNT OF GALACTIC DOLLARS IS WORTH THIS. MY BRAIN IS TURNING INTO GOO. THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS OF THIS SPACE STATION ARE KILLING ME!!!”

Coming back to reality… Is it possible to be tap into some crazy superpower when you’re sick and have the ability to slow time? I think I have accidentally slowed time down… I need to find the “undo” button.

You can’t get high on the daytime cold stuff, right? I am feeling Fruit Loops loopy.

I haven’t had wine in 2 days because I have been taking the night time cold medicine… I like to ease into my buzz… That stuff just hits you like a Mack truck and you’re out for 8-10 hours. It’s really starting to cut into my TV time.

My roommate went home with what looks like a stomach bug today… I told her to sanitize anything she touches and stay away from me. I do feel bad for her… But, I care about me more. (SorryNotSorry Shelbs!)

So you see? This is what I’m up against… GERMS at work and GERMS at home. I’m not safe ANYWHERE.